Psychos With Weak Hearts

What's the number one prescribed drug in the U.S.?

Take a second,

Take a wild guess!

You couldn't have guessed it in a million years.

It's a drug to help allay their fears.

If you guessed weed, heroin or crack

You're not far off, but on the wrong track. 

According to Terry O'Reilly's yak 

Big pharma must sell, more of it than smack,

It's an anti psychotic, called Abilify 

If you consider Dahmer or Bundy-

You needn't ask why-

Big Pharma profits off the mentally awry?

While American Psychos 

Like John Connolly, 

Work for the F.B.I. 

Haha you say, 

Funny guy!                           

What's the number one prescribed drug in Canada you ask? 

It comes in a pill bottle, but should come in a flask

So we can slurp it with our morning coffee

It's a drug called Crestor                                                                 

So we don't get a heart attack, 

While playing hockey;

AstraZenaca makes it 

They're from London not Milwaukee       

Getting back to coffee                                                            

Not the one flavored like toffee

Canada's number one home brew 

Without further ado

Is Maxwell House!

In America it's Folgers!

Who knew!

Just think, 

If they gave Charlie Manson Abilify

Abigail Folger wouldn't have had to die

Hey what do you get if you cross- 

A Canadian with an American

After a dose of Western medicine

After being diagnosed 

By their Big Pharma flunky, physician?

Why, you get,

A serial killer with a heart condition!

Dumbass

Flipping through the paper
To see how dumbmockracy
Is faring;
Who's banging who,
And who's just plain uncaring.

In Toronto
Doug Ford's
Rabble rousing again;
Right on time,
With a chime,
As loud as Big Ben.                                      

He wants  a group home
Of autistic kids,
Kicked to the curb;
He says
They're loud and unruly,
And the neighbor's they disturb.

Another politician with
Bats in the belfry
Centering on the underprivileged                                      
because they're not wealthy.

Next to the hills
Of Hollywood we go
To visit,
Sean Penn and Charlize;
He like's em blonde you know!
Maybe he's not over
His lust for Madonna,
You think he ties up Charlize
In her Dolce&Gabbana?

In the crime fighting halls
Of Washington's D.O.J;
Eric Holder announced
Serious charges he did lay;
Against a military outfit
Of Chinese hackers called
unit 61398.
A strategic, political tactic
Because saving face
Could not wait.

In Canada
We ignore politics
So let's zone out on sport,
Get behind the Habs
English Canada's falling short!
If a Liberal minister said tar baby
Conservatives would yell abort!
Since we're stuck with Poilievre
His racism we should thwart.
Investment in youth is nil
Unless you're the wealthy sort.

Prince Charles
Drew first blood
Comparing Putin
to Hitler;
The war rhetoric's
Ramping up
Threatening,
To go out of kilter.

There's no original ideas,
No creativity,
No economic vision anymore;
The best thing they can think of                                  
Is let's resort to war!

Look what happened
To the last guy,
Prince Charles found in his bed.
Is Putin even aware,

Crimea's where he lays his head?
Someone should remind Putin,                            
What happened to Dodi Al-Fayed.

I Want My CBC

I want my CBC

Now look at them bozo's,
that's the way you screw em.
You fool the public on the
CTV.

That ain't working that's the
way you screw em.
Private money and your
flix for a fee.

Now that ain't working,
that's the way you screw em.
Let me tell ya,these guys
are bums.

Behind your back they're,
giving you the finger
And maybe talking bad
about your mum.

We got to install us a new
government.
Cause these ones are friggen thieves

We got to move these,
imitators.
Or they'll bring us,
to our knees

The little maggot
caused a CBC breakup
Ya buddy
he don't care

The little maggot
Wants a partisan country,
The little maggot
He's a millionaire

We got to install us a new
government.
Cause these ones are friggen thieves

We got to move these,
imitators
Or they'll bring us,
to our knees

I should have gone on
onto law school,
I should've gone on to
learn to play dumb

Oh look at his bankroll
sticking it in the camera
Man we could have some fun

And he's on the air
And what's that
Funny noises
He's shooting his mouth on CTV

That ain't working that's the
way you screw em.
Private money and your
flix for a fee.

We got to install us a new
government.
Cause these ones are friggen thieves

We got to move these,
imitators
Or they'll bring us,
to our knees

Listen here
That ain't working
that's the way you screw em
You make the cuts to the CBC

Now that ain't working that's the
way you screw em.
Private money and your
flix for a fee.

Private money and your
flix for a fee.

I want my
I want my
I want my
CBC

The Devil You Know

The Conservative suitcase is all packed
Bursting at the seam;
Uncle Tim wants his name on a plaque
So he's rallied up the team!

Before the name goes, on the door
The public has a job to do
Unpack the same baggage as before
Or customs won't let it through

The first item up in Uncle Tim's case
Is the anti bureaucratic theme;
We're still cleaning up the Harris disgrace
After Walkerton burst a spleen

Shrink government, they yell!
It's all reactionary steam
In town halls it resonates well

And makes the headlines scream!

Shrinking government is all crap                                         Government never shrinks and that's a fact
It's party politics, the unwritten pact
The two largest parties both talk smack
Like the WWE on the attack
To lend controversy to their flack

It seems Uncle Tim has goodies to unfurl
For Ontario boys and Ontario girls                                                       One million jobs like a shiny new pearl
Try one, here,see, give her a whirl.

There's one thing the stats won't show
The job's part time, just so you know
There's no room for you to grow
No benefits of any kind to reap or sow
And...Oh,
 It's through a temp agency so the wages are low

"There is no bad job..." Jim Flaherty said
Not to make light, or speak ill of the dead
One needs a bad job, like a hole in the head
Election time stats seem often misread.

Uncle Tim promises straight talk                                                                                                         He's got a scheme cooking, now he's stirring the pot
It's like deja vu  the teachers will walk,
Don't cut anything until we take proper stock
Giving money to the private sector won't get us squat

To get economic growth back in Ontario
We have to be wary of quick fix Joe
Change should be gradual, not a sudden blow
No government will ignore what Drummond did show
Maybe it's better, the devil you know?

The Undecided Few

Ah...the most coveted voter,

The undecided few; 

Nameless; faceless 

Could this be you?

Uncle Sam...Wants You!

Tim Hudak...Wants You !

Kathleen Wynne...Wants You!

Andrea Horwath's too new!

Voters should ask:
Who started the contemptible trend,

Of tying Canadian parties to the one at the helm?
Was it Conservatives and their American friends?

What party locked us into, this obsequious realm?

Did Liberal statecraft predict this day would portend? 

So we, on American style politics must now depend?

To keep Canadians mired in a swamp of political woe 

Of polemical party policies that drags us below. 

One must admit how sneaky this move,

We barely did blink, now we behoove
The insidious American custom of icon politics
 Canada's party system needs a heretic.

Vote for a Party government to replace,

Our beholden placarded face! 

We don't need a sweater vest race,

Nor a stylish, young ace.

Lack of media concern, is a darn disgrace!

Whoever are the undecided few,

Do you want a party dictator outside of plain view?

Where ministers are bullied and decisions are too!

How about a party whose ministers are accountable to you?

Fiscal Man: The Caped Abator

                                           Michael Keaton

Tim Hudak!

Who dat?
A real Canadian superhero come to trim the fat?

At first glance he looks like Michael Keaton; 

Sure they're both actors,

You decide, which one's the cretin.

Keaton hasn't had a hit since Batman was in season
Hudak never had an original idea within reason
"Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?"
Every joker wants his moment in the bright spotlight

"This town needs an enema" is right
Will Ontarians find their way through the Dark Knight?

Will Tim Hudak be our caped crusading premier?
Single handedly putting tax cuts in gear.
Holy deficit Hudak!
Back to the Bat Cave at Queens Park,
Time to take Ontarians out of the dark.

Slash and burn is certainly no crime.
Maybe you should cut pensions this time?
Make subduing the evil villain, deficit; job one!
Unwind social programs till they're completely undone!
Like your Ottawa partner the federal Man of Steel
Tell Ontarians only you can give the best deal!

Scare voters into believing the Riddler has a twin
Say your arch nemesis is a Liberal named Kathryn Wynne
Blame Liberal spending for Ontario being in the "fiscal ditch"
But don't tell them your policies only benefits the rich
It's called wedge politics; where its focus you switch,
You make contentious arguments;
With no new ideas,
 and no believable plan
Conservatives pretend to be populists, by hating on the taxman

We've all seen this awful movie before
It always ends badly and makes us more poor
Don't bother with the popcorn it's a real snore
Like Canadian politics and politicians, it's a real bore!

Riddle me this Hudak:
What's big and fat
Pinned to Ontarians back
Has 9 zeros and is just plain wack?

You see, like I said, nothing new here,
Same old capitalizing off all our fear
Liberals and Conservatives both claim to care
And become parodies of each other year after year.